"MEN WILL BE MEN" PART TWO

TW: SEXUAL HARASSMENT & THREATS

PART 2

If you have not already read part 1 of “MEN WILL BE MEN”, this story might not make a whole lot of sense. Nonetheless, let's dive in.

It had been a week or so following me finding out that this man and his family had all been terminated from the country club. I was checking my original Instagram account before it got hacked and deleted, when I noticed I had a DM. The DM was from an account that had just been created, no pictures, no followers. This clearly was someone hiding behind a screen. The message this person had sent me was obviously a very close family member to the man who harassed me at the club. I have my own suspicions it was his wife. This message was long, mean, and very scary. Saying I had falsely accused him, that they would follow me to my college and get me kicked out, and saying any job I try to get in the future they would find out about and report my “immoral behavior”. This person stated they also may sue me. Which is honestly hysterical. I would love to see them try. I went to the police and reported all of it. I called my old place of work freaking out. I told them before I left that I did not want my name or report repeated because of the exact situation that ended up happening. No one answered my calls when finally the president of the club called me back. I made a comment saying I wish this was not something I had to deal with right now and the president of the club responded with “me too” then laughed... Oh I am terribly sorry sir that you have to deal with one of your members sexually harassing an employee. Honestly I was disgusted with everyone involved in the situation besides the police. They were extremely comforting and were on my side.

Point being, women are so terrified to speak up and report the physical assault or vocal harassment they had to endure. Sadly I experienced why that is, and why so many women all over the globe feel the same. I was made to feel so invalid by everyone involved. The comment my boss said when I went to her reporting the incident “Men will be men” will be stuck in my head for the rest of my life. Men do not get a free pass to be disrespectful pigs just because society has allowed it in the past. When she said that comment it made me feel like what this man had done to me was okay and justified because he’s a “man”. You know what a man is? Someone who respects women and protects them. Makes them feel comfortable and safe. Not someone who sexualizes a 14 year old.

A study in the UK found that 97% women between 18-24 years old have been sexually harassed and 96% had not yet reported the incident. The backlash that follows opening up about your assault is terrible; Threats, accusations about lying, and even being told you will get sued, all for trying to seek justice for the harm that has been caused to you.

In today's society I want these numbers to change. I want women of all ages to know that what happened to them is not okay and their feelings are valid. I want women to get empowered to speak up and seek change. These men or whoever may have assaulted you cannot hold power over you. You are already so strong for moving forward, do not let them take your strength away. “Men will be men” my ass. I’m over it and I’m angry. It’s time for change.